Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 28): The Plot Twist

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, As we leave the Horrendous Year of Our Lord 2020 and begin 2021, what fashion decisions or styles do you regret from the year past and what new trends do you see happening?

Nostra from Notre Dame

A: Dearest Dame Nostra,

The year 2020 has indeed been more than challenging for us globally. Therefore, I come before you prostrate and in humble supplication.

Forgive me Nostra for I have sinned!

It has been twenty years since I last committed a fashion crime. I must confess that this year has been an unprecedented affront to the fashion gods.

My sins are so numerous that I can only name a few themes that represent a myriad of sub-sins, all of which I should be fully punished for.

2020 Sins

1. I have embraced athleisure as a legitimate statement. I have purchased and actively worn in public not one, but two Adidas track suits - one current-era style in red and one Trefoil OG style in black.
2. I have tried to corrupt my mate by purchasing an Adidas Trefoil Track Suit for him in his favorite shade of blue, although he has so far not provided proof of wear so there may be hope for him still.
3. I have corrupted my wife with athleisure and now she can be seen wearing crop top hoodies coupled with Nordic clogs.
4. I have worn athleisure in public, commando.
5. I have driven a white, tinted-window BMW whilst wearing a black track suit, indiscernible from an Eastern European drug trafficker.
6. I have purchased and worn orange plastic Birkenstocks. I have worn them with socks. I have worn them with track suits whilst commando, compounding my sin.
7. I have embraced cycling culture.
8. I have worn cycling shorts without shame.
9. I have worn cycling jerseys that match my cycling shorts. Note that cycling clothes are akin to wrapping oneself in cellophane.
10. I have corrupted the eyes of middle-aged women who have gazed upon my cycling outfit glory.
11. I have purchased and worn cycling bibs which are essentially cycling shorts with suspenders.
12. I have corrupted a ginger friend of mine to the same, although he resists on occasion.
13. I have worn a cycling cap.
14. I have ridden an inflatable unicorn whilst floating in a swimming pool while wearing regular swim shorts.
15. I have had a mustache.

Forgive me Nostra. I am ashamed of myself in my backslidden state. I am lost and need guidance for 2021. I do not know how to break these formed habits. Help me Nostra! You’re my only hope!

In shame, The Greek God of Style