Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 7): The Language of Buttons
Andy Ingram
Q: Dear Greek God of Style, I am a single woman with many prospective single guys in my life. I am having a terrible time understanding the language they are communicating by the number of buttons fastened or undone on their shirts. Can you help me crack this strange kind of morse code? Diana in Detroit
A: Oh dearest Diana, this is not so complicated a topic. When divining the average male, the buttons speak volumes. If a man buttons to the top, your question should be, "What is he hiding?" Lack of developed pectorals? Too smooth? If he is untucked, is he some sort of street tough? Avoid those guys because they are not communicating what you want.
OK, now the "one-button undone" man. This man says "I want to play but I'm most likely a conservative therefore I have guilt if I have fun." Have caution with them too!
Now enters the "two or more unbuttoned" man. He won't wear an undershirt, of course, unless there is a chill. Then he'll be wearing a tank top and socks. This man exudes confidence, sophistication, and he smells wonderful. He is most likley Mediterranean. This man offers a tease and a taste of danger. Do you dare? You do? . . . well then we are a rare breed Diana. Rare indeed. Good luck with your "one-buttoned" man.