Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 32): Dressing Like a Rock Star
Andy Ingram
Q: Dear Greek God of Style,
I read recently that you released a new album of music. Whenever the next time is when you will play those songs live, will you be performing said songs in ridiculously tight leather pants? It seems to me that many humans use ridiculously tight leather pants as a sign that they are becoming more god-like. Do gods discuss what they are going to wear when they appear in public? And can ridiculously tight leather pants squeeze one’s humanity out to be only replaced by divinity?
Mick (Who Damon says is not from Hackney)
A: Oh misguided Mickey,
“Releasing an album” as you call it is such a vulgar depiction of recent events. We refer to the event as a divine melodic mélange via reverse osmotic expression. Imagine referring to extra virgin olive oil essence as “you been squeezin’ them fruits?”. Zeus’s shocker!
Outfits for live performances must be carefully crafted to maximize assets and attenuate reactions. We cannot have a “Tom Jones effect” where excessive fictitious enhancement strained against cellophane-thin polyester created heart palpitations and medical emergencies . . . oh it is “unusual to be loved by anyone” built on a scandalous scaffold of stuffing. Likewise recent evidence of old rock gods donning leather craft, poorly lit and ill-fitting left no doubt of irrelevancy and retraction of their once vibrant career. Our target, therefore, is one of timeless craftsmanship- carved from marble, hewn from the depths of the Earth on the island of Thasos where slabs are revealed and leveled by diamond-laden cords. Each curve and each mark has been chosen and has emerged from the stone canvas. As depicted by our brother Kravitz, carefully optimizing and tuning the leather meters the inevitable polemic onslaught and yields long lasting performance capabilities.
I will offer you this Mickey, you may gaze at shadows cast. May you not be blinded by the glint from your chalky reflective skin and white new balance supportive sneakers, missing all the heavenly glory.