Dating Dayton (Vol 4): Andrew and the Pick-Up Line
Andy Ingram
Romance.
Romance is a mystery everyone longs for but few know how to navigate. That's where Poptek's Andrew Ingram comes to help. A world traveler and a world reknown lover, your questions will finally have some answers as Ingram shares his vast wisdom of the wonder of when a man becomes enravished in the beauty of a woman.
How many of you have visited the Louvre in Paris? Have you seen the Mona Lisa in person? Were you as underwhelmed as I?
Regardless of your opinions concerning the rather bland Mona Lisa, it is undeniably historically significant. The spacial coherence, the atmospheric illusion, and that little smile make it one of the most important paintings in history. Let me also tell you an even greater importance of the Mona Lisa: the whole painting came together through a simple, quickly delivered pick-up line.
Attracting and caring for a woman is truly an art form. So let's talk about the "Art of the Pick-Up Line".
In Leonardo Da Vinci's story, he was quite a regular at delivering clever pick-up lines to unsuspecting women. So much so that he garnered the nickname "PerVinci". On that culture-shaping evening in the year 1503, PerVinci found an attractive woman wandering the Italian streets, just like he was prone to. He caught her eye and quickly went in to deliver the legendary querie "Hey baby, Want to make Art History?" Or in his native Italian, "Ehi piccola, vuole fare storia dell'arte?"
Dating Advice #10: Even experts have their failures.
What should have been a classic, undeniable pick-up line, fell flat as this girl was happily married and had no interest in entertaining thoughts of another. Lisa Gherardini did badly want to be a part of art history though, so her and her husband, Francesco Giocondo, commissioned Da Vinci to paint Lisa as the subject of his most famous work.
And Art History is what this fumbled pick-up line did indeed become.
Dating Advice #11: Romance never turns out how you think it will go.
So let's get in to how to craft a pick-up line.
First, the pick-up line has to be honest. Or completely cute and ridiculous. There is no middle ground.
And keep the pick-up short. Anything more than one sentence or a question and answer, and you better hope you are talking to a literature major or a lawyer or you have no chance.
Brevity also lessens the pain of the rejection, or so I have heard.
Know that if your intentions for said pick-up are less than honorable, she will be able to tell two words in. They can always tell. Yet if your motives are impure and you still find a girl who falls for your trickery, analyze your selfishness and move on. You don't want her.
So allow me to share some of my favorite pick-up lines and their rate of success. You are free to use them, but remember what I said about the pick-up line being honest? If you deliver an advance and the girl of your affection ends up with me, just know that that is how these things work. Honesty is truely that important.
ANDREW'S FAVORITE PICK-UP LINES
"Hello"
- Success: Leticia, Anitra, Lisa A., Darcy, Kacey, Erika, Sherrilyn / Failure: None
"I consider myself a Renaissance Man . . . and I think I just found myself a Renaissance Lady"
- Success: Lucia, Maddy, Alice / Failure: None
"Are you in to bridges? cause I have the perfect view where I am standing right now."
- Success: Manuela, Crissy, Libby S./ Failure: None
"I want to offer you some of my fair trade chocolate bar but I am sure that you already know what it's like to be sweet and pure."
- Success: Hollie, Nika, Ami / Failure: None
"Can I ask what material your jacket is made out of? Are you sure it's not girlfriend material?"
- Success: CoCo, Stella, Victoria / Failure: None
"Excuse me, I'm a tourist here. Can you give me directions on how to win your heart?"
- Success: Yuko, Athena, Petra / Failure: None
"Does your family name happen to be Monet? You have made a huge Impression on me!"
- Success: Judith, Frida, Marlena, Carolee, Natalia / Failure: None
"Help! Can you give me a ride to the hospital because you are making my heart beat too fast?"
- Success: Rose, Jana, Marje, Laura P. / Failure: None
"Excuse me. Are you from Venice? I ask because your skin reminds me of fine porcelain."
- Success: Elisabeth, Fabriella / Failure: None
"I bet you are a really good photographer since you are such a wonderful sight to see."
- Success: Berenice, Roberta, Sally M., Francesca / Failure: None
"Have you seen the Vitruvian man? Want to see more?"
- Success: Genevieve / Failure: None
"I just have to say that you are the most beautiful woman in the world!"
- Success: None / Failure: Odena
Oh, Odena . . . I don't want to talk about her. Odena is the one that got away . . .