Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol.5): What to Wear on Holiday

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, I'm booked to go on holiday next week but I just do not know what to wear. How do I prepare for a warm, tropical, coastal destination?

A: Dear Hopeless in Havana, though I never have this issue I will try to help. Leave your undergarments at home. Such restrictions should be avoided while on holiday. White mid-thigh shorts or skirts (see my previous post for rules on wearing white) and a flowing button-up are musts. Flip-flops are unacceptable because no one needs to hear the racket of you tripping by. Enjoy your holiday. If you don't qualify to wear white, please stay home.

Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 4): When to Wear White

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, There is a lot of misinformation on this fashion rule. So when is it truely appropriate to wear white? Do you go by the lunar calendar or the Orthodox calendar?

A: Mr. Misinformation, here is the rule: If your skin is whiter than your clothes then you mustn't wear white . . . ever. Spring, summer, fall, winter? The season doesn't matter if you look good. For example, imagine you have fine olive or mocha colored skin. It would be a crime not to wear white quite often.

It is never appropriate however to wear white tube socks. It is not the 1970's and you are not 10-years-old. Never!

Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 3): To Stripe or Not to Stripe

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, What is the social etiquette for wearing stripes?

A: Dear ASS&IOD, Stripes- so simple yet so complicated. Side stripes should not be worn in such a way to enhance one's girth. If a tight shirt creeps above one's beltline, that is an absolute fail . . . unless you are sailing in the Mediterranean. Vertical stripes are also a "no-no" unless one strives to mimick Davey Jones from The Monkees. Never a good look. If you are bent on wearing stripes, do so under a flannel to re-live 1994. Or better yet, dont!

Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 2): Foot Wear

Q: What are your theories on open-toe footwear?

A: Before I go on, you need to address me as The Greek God of Style. Now to your question. What are dames trying to prove with open-toed shoes? How many toes they can cram through some tiny hole? Ventilation? No thank you! Keep the stink in! Now, with that said there are some "reasonable" open-toed shoes for ladies, but they should never be a first choice. Heels everyday is a great idea!

Ask the Greek God of Style (Vol. 1): Hair Dye

Q: Dear Greek God of Style, at what point is it acceptable for a man to start dyeing his hair to cover up the grey? - Anonymous still-single and insecure old dude

A: It is preposterous for a man to dye his hair under any circumstance other than theatrical. A man should embrace his manly wisdom, no matter how hideous, and hope a woman will take pity on him by calling it "dignified". Suck it up Nancy, at least you're not bald...yet.